What to do if you're stuck in infatuation

What to Do if You're Stuck in Infatuation

by Sarah Paul, original author of "How to Be Irresistible to Men"

You've got hearts drawn all over your notebook with both your names inside. You've already thought about what your children would look like and picked out their names. You know the exact model of the car he drives and know the shirts he wears by heart. But there's one catch: he doesn't even know your name.

Welcome to the world of infatuation.

Infatuation, quite simply, is being stuck on someone. Some people mistake it for love, and they move from relationship to relationship as soon as their infatuation with a person wanes.

Infatuation is not a bad thing in and of itself, but it should only be temporary. Infatuation is a stage ... it should NOT be a condition. If you stay infatuated too long, you can find that your infatuation will begin to affect your life in negative ways.

How to Know if You Are Infatuated

You felt a passionate desire to be with the person with whom you are infatuated.
You experience the "High and Low" syndrome: mood swings depending on how the person you are infatuated with responds.
You find yourself daydreaming about him.
You feel a hungry feeling when you are away from him.
You feel incomplete and lonely when he is far away.
You need constant reassurance from him.
Your life becomes focused on him. You may even change your life to accommodate him.
You live in constant fear of rejection or abandonment.
You feel a deep need for your feelings to be returned by him.
If you feel like you have been down this path before, you know how it ends. Either you confront the guy you like with your feelings and face his possible rejection, or you wither away with your unresolved feelings until you can't stand it anymore and take steps to avoid seeing him anymore.

Don't worry if you easily become infatuated. You get to experience the highs that many other more sensible people don't get to experience. You make guys feel special (few guys admit how flattered they feel when a member of the opposite sex is infatuated with them), and men will find themselves attracted to you due to your genuine enjoyment of their company. However, you may also find yourself moving ceaselessly from one guy to another, seeking to maintain that high. Don't let the need for infatuation blind you to the benefits of quieter, deeper, more enduring love.

When the intensity of infatuation naturally fades, your emotions will dampen down. You may feel as if you have fallen out of love. Rest assured, you haven't ... you've just fallen out of infatuation. The best part is ahead. Now you will be more realistic about what you and the guy you like have to offer one another. You'll begin to develop deeper intimacy based on respect and understanding of the other person. You may discover that the solid ground of a loving relationship is better than the high and insecurity of dating the object of your infatuation for the first time.

If you are stuck in infatuation, remember these tips.

Five Tips to Deal with Infatuation

Infatuation is just a stage, NOT a condition.
Move on. If you've continually made yourself available for the guy to ask you out, and he hasn't yet, move on. If he liked you, he would have asked you out already. It may be hard to face, but in 9 out of 10 cases it is true.
Infatuation can be a fun rollercoaster ride, but the ultimate goal is still ahead: enduring, deep romantic love.
Infatuation wears blinkers. A healthy dose of reality about the guy you are infatuated with can go a long way in curing you ... or giving you the courage you need to be noticed by him.
Don't do anything you'll later regret. Infatuation can be an intoxication. You may feel as if you'll go to any lengths to win the object of your infatuation. Take a moment to remember the cardinal rule of dating: men like the challenge of pursuit. If you are available for the taking, he won't be interested.