Life's Lessons

Now what? I've been living for almost 4 decades now. Can I say that I am fulfilled? Do I have reasons to celebrate my accomplishments? Family wise and relationship wise: I sucked. I burned almost all the bridges. Career wise, so so. It's true, IQ gets one hired, EQ gets him promoted. Financially wise, just okay, though. At least I already have a house, although I am still amortizing it. I have two kids and they are generally healthy. I can send them to school. I have a computer. I can write my thoughts. I have a job. If there was one lesson that I want to master and learn from, looking back, it would be to think of the consequences of my actions in the perspective of eternity. I had been prioritizing my feelings for the longest time, without regard to other people. I had stumbled twice. I shouldn't repeat it the third time. I will be very very careful. I will be upright from this point on. No more compromises. No more gray areas. Let be black be black and white be white. It's never too late. I can still make amends. Just make do with what I have. It should start within myself. First things first. My spirituality should be fixed and my actions should be re aligned with my beliefs. Follow the golden rule even if others do not give a damn. Put my feet on the other person's shoes. Dale has a wife. I need to back off now. Respect other people's right. Do not trespass other people's properties. Be a good citizen, the best mother, the best employee and a good child of God. There's no more time belittling myself and putting blame on myself and other people. I did all those silly things because I was very aggressive and I lacked wisdom. It's never too late to start a good life. I will obey now, Lord. Take my life. Take this mess. Make me your instrument of love and help me forgive myself and move on. Take me from the pit of self pity and rejection. I want to be transformed. Take me to your side now. Thank you for being a Sovereign God. Thank you for the realization. Thank you for helping me out.